apart from mich (who sends me random messages about what a beautiful day it is, and that she hopes i will have a wonderful day ahead, and that she just felt like telling me she loves me), rach has got to be the sweetest girl i know.

rach:
im reading yur blog now... now i understand why ppl enjoy reading blogs
ying:
oh?
ying:
so why do ppl read blogs?
rach:
haha... i dunno... but when i read yur blog i get a fuzzy feeling when i see tt u are happy
rach:
hahah
ying:
aw

ain't that sweet? it certainly isn't the same reason i read blogs. i read anything from my friends' blogs to acquaintances' blogs to strangers' blogs. heck, i read xiaxue, i read kenny sia, and at one point, i even read a hooker's blog. she was a high class hooker though, mind you - and she had a gift for depicting the most sordid material in a refreshingly candid and artistic way.

so where's the point in all that, you might ask. i've been questioning my preoccupation with blogs, and i've come to the realisation that i read blogs for various reasons.

♥ it allows me to stay updated about my friends' lives
♥ it allows me to live vicariously - there's nothing better than reading how something is like if you can't do it yourself
♥ it satisfies the voyeuristic streak in me
♥ it opens your eyes to things that you would otherwise never have realised or thought about

and blogging itself can be truly therapeutic. i first started blogging in 2001, took a break in 2004, and came back more verbose than ever. i can't quite explain it. maybe it's because some things are just too silly or inconsequential to be expressed in real life. but blogging is definitely an emotional catharsis of sorts; a virtual release that is in any case better than keeping things all bottled up inside. and it certainly keeps me occupied when i've got way too much time on my hands.

speaking of which, designing has been keeping me really busy. i'm getting such a buzz from all the new stuff i learn everyday that the adrenalin alone is what's keeping me going in this busy period. due to my pnp duties in orientation, i've had to pick up photoshop all over again. i've forgotten everything i learnt since my secondary school web designing days. not that they were much to speak off, since everything i knew was really quite rudimentary and internet technology and software has improved by such leaps and bounds that whatever rusty knowledge i have is pretty much obsolete by know.

so i've had to start from scratch. it's been such an unbelievably amazing experience. downloading filters and brushes, messing around with photoshop functions, looking at css, javascript, flash, and html tutorials... it's taken up so much of my time because i refuse to do it the orthodox way. ryan asked me something which left me bewildered - what program do you use? it hit me then that normal people use web designing software like microsoft frontpage and what-not. but i'm such a stickler for propriety (aka snob) that i refuse to cheat. even if it means that i'll spend more time and effort churning out the same thing. but i still maintain that it's the best way to learn.

and it's true, in my case at least. for this new blog design, i had to look up tutorials on css and tables while i was working on the code itself. learning and crafting at the same time isn't very time-efficient, but it certainly makes the lesson stick.

i feel like i've come a long way. yet it's only the tip of the iceberg. there's so little that i know and so much that i've yet to master. i've seen some really good designs and layouts at blogskins.com and they've inspired me to do better. my first paris layout was inspired by the simple skins structured around css. my second ciara layout was in turn inspired by the popular javascript image map navigation. and now, this - i decided to move on to the more complicated css + table layouts i saw. but i'm still not happy.

i know, i know. i've been changing blogskins like underwear. but really, it's all part of the learning process. already i'm tired of this one. maybe it's because i worked so hard on something that ended up looking so simple. but that's my style - clean, bold, and classic. i need to break out of this, or i'll bore myself to death. urgh.

ying @ 3:25 AM

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